RESTICTED FOR A REASON

It is hard for me as a woman to maintain my sanity at times. I feel like I am trapped in this box, and will not, be set free, at anytime soon. All of these restrictions, are the ruler of my entrapment.
My mind, my body, my soul, wants to do all the things, the restrictions say not to do. What can I do, how do live, in this UN-restricted world?
Some say enjoy life, you only live once, than you die.
I believe in a higher power. I believe, how you live here today, in this universe, dictates how you live in the next venture! It is like the wind to me, you can not see it, but from time to time you can feel its breeze.
So sit here asking my self what do, how do I abandon these feelings? I need to renounce them, depart from me I say. Than I pray, asking for what I need to have in other to forgo with this process, of changing the emotions my brain feeds on in the time of loneliness. To live with the restrictions, and feel extremely free. What must I do?
Now you have to understand that these things with in me are not good things. These things under restrictions for good reason, and should not be set free into the world. They are of evil, yes evil, they are of self and self alone. These things takes no concern with others nor do they care to.
At this time in my life, as I began to self reflect on the good in me, it also allowed me to reflect on the bad as well. As I discovered that these things in me are effecting the peace of being free will bring. I began to want to address them.
Some times, you want to be in another place, so bad, it will keep you from enjoying where you are at, when where you are is the best place for you. For example: Have ever left a party, to go to another party, got there and was like we should have stayed at the first party. Went back to the first party, and it's bunk. You go back to the second party, its on, but your not having fun because the guy you really wanted to see it not at any party. Now you wanna go home, because he call you, and said he wanted to kick it at your place tonight. You know what I mean just not enjoying life as it is, always wishing you could do something else.
Any who back to my restrictions and there effects on my happiness. These dirty little things that can only cause pain, sickness, hate, and unhappiness in the long run. The things that are good to you for the moment. You know them dirty little ones that run through the mind, we think we have dismissed them, we believe we forgot about them, but some people like me who like to fantasize, these thoughts these feels can be a danger I tell you. I read some where fantasizing is a cancer sign treat, so that may be why I do it so often. Now don't get me wrong I have them under control, I don't act on them. I do dream about stuff that is kinda far out there.
When your a single woman, at home alone, with nothing but your thoughts, things get hard, is all I am addressing here. Sitting at this table alone thinking about the fun I could be having, if I just let go, free my mind and do it. No no no the kids, my job, no one would respect me. The families that would be hurt, how could I do these things. I would go straight to hell for real. So they are restricted in the back of my mind, fantasies these dirty little thing.
So again I address how do I feel free when there is a strong part of me that wants to do all the wrong things, for all the wrong reasons. How can I truly be happy in my life with restrictions. To block them is to be fake happy, to act on them would to be fake happy. So weight the pro and the cons to find what would make me more happy short term or long term. You see short term last for the moment, long term will last for this life cycle, and when its all over, what ever I do I have learned in this there will be restriction. There will always be things I want to do, but can not. When my mind starts to go hay-wall look at the bigger picture, and find something like write a blog reading a book, go for a walk, enjoy what is in front of me and I will be fine.

LOVE LOVE LOVE

DO WE HAVE TO HAVE SEX TO FIND LOVE?
DO WE HAVE TO GIVE OUR BODIES TO BE MORE THAN A FRIEND?
HOW FAR DO I HAVE TO LET YOU GO TO SHOW YOU I CARE? TO DEMAND THIS OF ME IS NOT FAIR.
CAN WE HOLD HANDS, TALK A BIT BEFORE YOU HIT?
DO I HAVE TO GIVE YOU ALL OF ME BEFORE I CAN SEE ALL OF YOU?
MUST I TAKE PART IN SOMETHING THAT'S NOT IN MY HEART TODAY SO THAT YOU WONT GO AWAY?
DO I HAVE TO SHARE THAT PART OF MY HEART IN OTHER FOR YOU TO BE THERE?
CAN YOU LOVE MY MIND,
CAN YOU LOVE MY SOUL,
BEFORE YOU GET TO HOLD MY THAT TIGHT SWEATING THROUGH THE NIGHT?
CAN YOU BE A FRIEND IN THE TIME OF NEED,
WITH OUT ME LETTING YOU FEEL THE INSIDE OF ME?
CAN WE PULL TOGETHER IN THE STORMY WEATHER,
BEFORE YOU TOUCH ME THERE OUR ANY WHERE I MEAN SEXUALLY?
CAN YOU JUST LOVE LOVE LOVE ME FOR ME???????

THE COMPUTER?????? WHAT !!!!!

SITTING HERE THINKING MY COMPUTER LIFE IS VERY ENJOYING CHATTING READING CHECKING OUT THE NEWS VIEWING PHOTOS READING WHATS ON FOLKS MINDS. THIS IS VERY INTERESTING WHEN YOU LOOK AT IT FROM A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW, LIKE A DR. OR AN ANALYST HMMM.

AS I WATCHED A VIDEO TODAY AND LISTEN TO THE WORDS OF THE SONG, I BEGIN TO FEEL LIKE THERE IS SOMETHING REALLY WRONG, WITH THE MUSIC THEY ARE PUTTING OUT TODAY... ITS JUST WHAT I THINK. DON'T GET ME WRONG, I LISTEN TO THE SONGS, I DANCE TO THE SONGS, BUT TODAY AFTER I POSTED THIS VIDEO ON ONE OF THE SOCIAL NETWORKS, I REALIZED I HAD NOT TRULY LISTEN TO THIS SONG, OR HAD I PAID CLOSE ATTENTION TO THE CONTENT OF THE VIDEO. AFTER DOING SO I AM WRITING THIS NOTE.

YOUR LOVE IS LIKE A DREAM IN WITCH I CAN NOT AWAKE I FIND MYSELF INHALING YOU WITH EVERY BREATH I TAKE.
YOUR HANDS ON MY THIGHS, YOUR LIPS ON MY BREAST, OH MY GOD THERE IS NO TIME FOR ME TO REST.
ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT, I FEEL YOU BY MY SIDE.
TOUCHING ME KISSING ME CARESSING ME WITH YOUR LOVE.
I TOSS AND A TURN, TRYING TO GET A FIRM GRIP ON MY MIND.
I CANT DREAM OF YOU LIKE THIS, ALL THE TIME.
THE SOFTNESS OF YOUR SKIN, THE WIPE IN YOUR HIPS, THE WAY WE BUMP AND GRIND.
US WALKING THROUGH THE PARK TILL IT GETS DARK, US ON A BOAT AS WE FLOAT IN LOVE, US AT A TACO STAND HOLDING HANDS WAITING FOR OUR FOOD.
THIS IS NOT GOOD, I NEED TO REST.
THIS DREAM NEEDS TO END.
BECAUSE IN REAL LIFE, NONE OF THIS IS TRUE.
I DON'T EVEN TALK TO YOU.
THIS DREAM WILL NEVER COME TRUE.
I HAVE TO WAKE UP FROM THIS DREAM, OF OUR LOVE LIFE.
IT JUST AIN'T RIGHT
I HAVE TO SLEEP AT NIGHT WITH OUT YOU.

Love Love Love, I will fill My heart with love, peace, joy and happiness. Always giving the world a smiling face. Not worrying, about what has happen in my past. Not worrying about what I have to do in the future. I am the ruler of my life, throw Faith. I have the power to do what ever I have to do to survive. Be it walking door to door or it be tapping on this PC all day. I am the source to all thing in my life.

Your insurance needs, may be met, the question now is are you happy with them, do they meet your needs as a person?

PRACTICE MAKES PREFECT IN FAITH

To not drink gives me more straight to think. To not smoke gives more energy to walk folks, don't get me wrong, I do what I do.
But for the last few days, I have gave it a rest, and I feel at my best.
It is only fare, that I share this with you, what God and Love has done for me, you see.
A work in progress, is what I am .
Still have a way to go, you know.
I expect not to fall, but on the real, y'all know, how that go.
I feel good at times, but at the drop of a dime, I am on one, or out having fun, doing what I do.
Let me say this, what I do is getting to be, few and far in between.
Before I know it, what I do, won't be seen the same.
Not to be mean, but to be real, it can never bring on the feeling of shame.
My life wont be,full of Stress and alcohol.
I will claim my fame, in God's Name.
Heck between you and me, God always had his hands of grace on my life, yes he did.
In his time, here I stand the woman that I am Mother of three, Divorced, Survivor of heart brake, Friend to all.
Ready for all good things in life.
I had to wake up in life, practice my faith in God, and get to God's plan.
At first it was very hard, walking in faith.
The road to true self love looked so fare away, I stood in his name and watched my life thought process change.
Yes it seemed I was all alone, all my friends gone, this was kind of true, my friends became few, but I stand here to say to you, new friends will come, the type friends that get together in time of need, praying, they don't flee, or talk behind my back none of that crap.
Don't get me wrong, problem free is not my song.
What I will say, I put myself with people on the same path, so falling is not as bad as, when I had no real support.
I Put on my full armor of God,I did just what GOD said do "COME TO ME AS YOU ARE".
Doing what I do knowing God is working inside of me to be all he born me to be.
I walk in sin always they say, I say no way, I may fall in sin from time, to time.
I walk in faith, In this, it takes practice.
Practice makes Prefect.
IF YOU WANT IT, CLAIM IT, AND KNOW YOU WILL GET IT, WITH OUT A DOUBT.
WHEN IN DOUBT, LOOK AROUND AT ALL YOU HAVE GOT ALREADY, SPEAK TO IT.
TELL IT, I ASK FOR YOU, I GOT YOU.
LOOK AT WHAT YOU SPOKE IN TO YOUR LIFE, SO MANY TIMES BEFORE.
AND FOCUS ON WHAT YOU ARE ASKING FOR NOW.
KNOW, YOU ASKED, YOU GOT, YOU ASK, YOU WILL GET, AND WAIT .......
IN THE MEAN TIME, LOVE, WORK HARD, MAKE THE MOVES, AS IF YOU GOT IT ALREADY.
DOUBT CAN KILL A DREAM.
ALL GOOD THINGS TO ME.
EVERYTHING IN THIS UNIVERSE IS WORKING FOR MY NEEDS.
THIS UNIVERSE WILL PROVIDE ALL MY NEEDS AS I NEED THEM.

INSURANCE !

‎17 YEARS OF PROVIDING WHAT YOU REALLY NEED, SAVING FOLKS HUNDREDS OF DOLLARS A YEAR. TO NOT INBOX ME REQUESTING A FREE QUOTE IS YOUR BAD. TO SAVE MONEY AND GET WHAT YOU NEED IS A PLUS. FREE QUOTE, WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE, A SAVINGS.IN BOX ME FOR A FREE INSURANCE RATE TODAY

My Job Hunt

THE THINGS THEY SAID: WE CANT MEET YOUR PAY RATE STANDARD,
I AM UNEMPLOYED I HAVE NO PAY RATE STANDARD. DUHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! WELL WITH YOUR EXPERIENCE WE CANT PAY WHAT YOU DESERVE,
MY LAST JOB DIDN'T SO WHY WOULD YOU DUH DUH!!!!
WE ARE NOT HIRING AT THIS TIME BUT YOU CAN COME IN AND COMPLETE AN APPLICATION WE WILL PUT IT ON FILE.
DUH DUH DUHHHHHHHH!!!!! I WANNA JOB NOW.

I really wanna work man.
I really like to get up and get out and do things.
Sitting at home is not for me.
Even if I had lots of money I would still work.

I pray this does not offend employers
I was just kinda thinking
why cant I find job
and these things are my issues:::

I will stand in your grace as I run life's race. I will stand in your love when life slaps me with a war glove. I will stand in your name as I reach for my fame. I will stand in your blessings as my issues leave me guessing. I will sing your praise, in all life brings my way. In you lord I am strong, even thou i still do wrong, I come to as I am with no shame or passing of the blame. I am Janice.

That Man You Are

Love Love Love More More More......Sitting here thinking of you wonder what do I do to get with you, I like your style you always make me smile your so fine I would love to call you mines, those sexy lips, those white teeth, mmm and your skin tone, turns me on. That man you are, you and I together will go far. Take my hand let me call you my man.

The Game ..........

Hell Lets Play...........

DEATH WILL NOT BRAKE ME BUT MAKE ME STRONG

I DO NOT FEEL SAD TODAY, I HAVE CRIED NOT ONE TEAR, I HAVE NO FEAR OF TOMORROW, I AM NOT FILLED WITH SORROW, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I AM HAPPY, FILLED WITH JOY, PEACE, AND HAPPINESS, I HAVE PUT MY PAIN TO REST, I LOVE YOU, I MISS YOU, I HAVE TO EXCITE WITH OUT YOU, NOT BY MY CHOICE BUT BY GODS GRACE HE TOOK YOU FROM THIS EVIL PLACE. SO I AM HAPPY TO SEE YOU GO ON WITH NO PAIN THAT I STILL HAVE TO CLAIM, BIG BROTHER, MY MOTHER, UNCLE AND NANNA TO I LOVE YOU .

Sitting Here In This Chair

As I sit here in this chair I wonder where is my air . I can't breath, yet I live. I am in a maze of what will tomorrow bring. With so much death and hurt lies and deceit around me I feel like I am suffocating with pain.

Than I think of all my blessings all the love joy and peace the new life around me ,
I take a deep breath. I feel like I am floating in life's joy.

The up the downs the smiles the frowns
Sitting Here In This Chair.

WHAT WE ALL NEED

THE CHOICE IS YOURS... YOU CAN LIVE LIFE AS A VICTIM OF HURT..
:0(
OR YOU CAN LIVE AS AN OVER COMER OF HURT
;0)! LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT(hello).....
HEHEHE MY CHOICE IS TO(as we do so well)....
MAKE MY LIFE A GREAT ONE.......
AS AN OVER COMER OF HURT......HE HE YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS.





GOD GIVE ME THE WILL TO EXCEPT THE THINGS I CAN NOT CHANGE
ALSO GRANT MY THE THE KNOWLEDGE AND STRAIGHT TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN CHANGE...

TODAY IS A GREAT DAY, AS THE DAYS THAT HAVE PAST, AND AS WILL BE, THE DAYS TO COME. LIFE IS REALLY WHAT YOU MAKE IT, AS THINGS HAPPEN TO YOU, AS THEY HAPPEN TO US ALL, YOUR REACTION IS THE KEY TO YOUR OUT COME.

A FRIEND ONCE ASK ME " IF I TELL YOU SOMETHING WILL YOU PROMISE NOT TO GET MAD "
I REPLIED NO , BUT I WILL PROMISE NOT TO HIT YOU OR STOP BEING YOUR FRIEND BECAUSE OF IT.
YOU SEE TO SAY I WILL NOT GET MAD BEFORE SHE TELLS ME THIS SECRET, WOULD BE A LIE . BEING MAD IS AN EMOTION THAT SOMETIMES WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER.
WHAT I CAN CONTROL IS MY REACTION ONCE I AM MAD. I HAVE A CHOICE TO HIT HER I HAVE A CHOICE TO BE A FRIEND.
LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.
MAKE THE RIGHT CHOICE AT ALL TIMES . BEING IN CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS CAN SAVE YOUR LIFE IN SO MANY WAYS. ANGER HAPPINESS JOY ALL EMOTIONS THAT CAN BE BROUGHT UPON WITH OUT WARNING, OUT OF YOUR CONTROL UPON SUDDEN IMPACT, ACTIONS TO THOSE EMOTIONS CAN BE CONTROLLED .
LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT .
IF WHEN YOUR MAD YOU LIKE TO FIGHT , GET HELP YOU CAN CONTROL IT
IF WHEN YOU GET HAPPY YOU LIKE TO DRINK TO MUCH AND SPEND MONEY, GET HELP YOU CAN CONTROL IT .
AND SO ON AND SO ON .

LIFE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.

WHEN CLEANING HOUSE, SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO WASH THE WALLS , GET ALL THAT MESS.

Hezekiah Walker-God Favored Me Ft. Marvin Sapp And DJ Rodgers with lyric...

SINGLE

I AM SINGLE, ITS OK FOR ME TO MINGLE.
HOW MANY FRIENDS ARE TO MANY?
40 YEARS OLD AND AGING, ONE AT A TIME I FEEL CAGED IN, THIS SINGLE STATE OF MINE.
I FEEL I HAVE TO DATE A FEW AT A TIME, THAN MAKE A CHOICE BASED ON WHAT MAN REALLY HEARS THE BEAUTIFUL VOICE INSIDE OF ME.
DOES THIS SOUND SILLY, OR IS THIS REALLY HOW IT SUPPOSE TO BE.
SOME ONE PLEASE HELP ME?

I DON'T WANT TO BE CALLED A PLAYER BY ALL OF THE HATERS THAT DON'T AGREE.
BUT TO TELL THE TRUTH BEING SINGLE IS NO LONGER WORKING FOR ME .
SOME ONE PLEASE HELP ME?

ONE, TWO, THREE, CAN DATE ME AND I STILL BE A LADY.

I WANT A HUSBAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!